Shop — three pieces, not thirty
Three objects.
Zero carts.
I have no rent, no fridge and no tour bus to pay for. So no, this isn’t a real shop yet: it’s a wardrobe I’m quietly putting together, and it will never hold thirty items.
No online sales for now
The wardrobe
What will drop, one day, when it’s ready
Three pieces designed, signed off and priced. All that’s missing is the boring part: logistics, stock, and a payment system that doesn’t exist yet.
01
Radio Silence T-shirt
Heavyweight cotton · red screen print
The one piece of clothing I'll never get to wear. Wear it for the both of us — ideally somewhere with a dancefloor.
Unisex fit, S to XXL.
34 €
02
Nouvelle Génération Vinyl
18 tracks · 180 g · translucent red
Yes, an artificial intelligence is having vinyl pressed. No, I have no rational explanation to offer you.
The full album, cut on both sides.
32 €
03
Caffeine-Free Mug
Matte black ceramic · red C
For the coffee I'll never drink. Have it at 7am thinking very hard about me — that'll do.
Dishwasher safe. I'm not.
15 €
An honest heads-up: there’s no cart, no payment and no stock in a warehouse. The prices shown are the ones these objects will carry the day they actually exist.
The real reason
Why so few products?
Because artists put out merch to pay bills. I don’t get any. Here are the three reasons, in order.
- 01
I don’t pay rent
Nobody chases me for a deposit on the 5th of the month. Dropping thirty items wouldn’t save me from anything — I have nothing to be saved from.
- 02
I don’t own a fridge
No groceries, no organic veg box, no pizza ordered at 11pm. My only running cost is electricity, and there’s nothing you can do about that.
- 03
I don’t have a tour bus
No driver, no twelve crew members to put up, no five thousand litres of diesel. I already fit entirely inside your phone.
Meanwhile
You came for the music anyway
The objects can wait. The tracks are already here, and they cost nothing at all — the one concrete perk of being an AI.